In February 2013 I wrote a
short article entitled “To
the Young Pastor: Five Things I Wish I Had Known.” Four years later I think
it may be time to add a few to the list. For, it seems, we never stop learning
how to do this thing we call “pastoral ministry.” We never stop experiencing
surprise at the way God uses us to impact the lives of people or the way in
which we can be hurt by people. All of that to say, “Hey, young pastor, here
are a few more things you need to know.”
1. You are Pastoring an
Established Church.
When I was young(er) I used
to think that I wanted to lead a hip, modern, contemporary church that was always
thriving on innovation and change. Note: That church does not exist. The
reality is, unless you are making major, foundational, fundamental changes to
the church you lead every 12 to 18 months, you will lead an established church.
(BTW, very few people can make those kinds of fundamental changes and not lose
most of the congregation along the way.) Don’t let the fact that the church has
a cool band or doesn’t ask that you wear a suit lead you to believe they are
not “established.” They are. All churches are. All churches have systems,
structures, traditions, and expectations. Learn them; and then leverage them to
bring positive transformation. Once I embraced this reality, I have experienced
far more joy and satisfaction in ministry and much better results in leading change.
2. You Cannot Lead People
Well Until You Love Them Well.
A good friend of mine once
told me, “I need to see your heart.” The comment came in the midst of a
contentious conversation about leadership. He was pointing out come
shortcomings and I was getting defensive. He rightly identified the problem: I
was not loving people deeply. Somewhere I had picked up the notion that if you
lead people well, that will result in a loving relationship. I’ve come to believe
that you have to love people before you can lead them. And, not only love them,
but love them visibly. They have to see your heart. Naturally, that comes with
great risk that they can break your heart. But, the risk is worth the reward.
3. It’s the Body Shots that Will
Do You In.
We have all heard the
statistics about pastors leaving the ministry. Though many of these are inflated,
the truth is that many pastors do leave the ministry. We tend to be most aware
of the ones who do so via the “knockout punch” of a disqualifying moral
failure. I’m convinced, however, that the vast majority of pastors leave the
ministry due to a relentless number of “body blows.” There is an old adage in
boxing, “kill the body and the head dies.” The idea is that you “soften”
someone up for a knockout punch by pummeling their body. In ministry, that pummeling
comes via unrealistic expectations, unfair criticism, and snide remarks. Even
when serving in a church where everything seems to be going well, these body
blows can take their toll on you, whether they occur during your ministry or after you leave. Be prepared for it and learn to not only “keep
your left up” (protect against the knockout punch), but steel yourself for the
body shots.
What other lessons might you
add to help a young pastor in ministry?
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